Well hello. I don't have much to say when I'm not melancholy. Today I am not. I am just... well, I am.
I did cry a wee bit in the shower, though that was because I was thinking of why on earth my best friend from 4th grade would have posted "thinking of you" on the Facebook walls of my brother and me a few days ago. I have been so wrapped up in this blanket of dead baby-ness, I forgot that my own baby brother died in our backyard pool 26 years ago June 29th. She remembered. I have not seen her since I was 12. Is that what it will be like? Who will carry Juniper in their hearts that long? I am glad someone else remembered. That she carries that for us. No one asked that little girl, now a mom herself, to mark this time for 24 years, but she did. I need to thank her.
Dads Who Don’t Deal
5 years ago
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4 comments:
oh honey, Teddy is not forgotten. i don't remember the dates, but i remember everything else. my heart still aches for you & your family, then and now. sometimes, well, most of the time, i just don't know what to say or do.
<3 Emily I don't know who will carry Juniper in their hearts for the next million years, but I will. He will not be forgotten.
God, that is horrible and I am so sorry your brother died. What else is there to say? Life sometimes sucks so much.
I guess just "being" is all you can ask for at times. It is better than being melancholy, even if you know that it is probably only temporary before the next wave of grief washes over you.
I hope that you continue to have some better days ahead of you.
-Brianna
Em, I had friends that remembered it as well. Wow, I was awed at the depth of the hurt and memories that others share with us! We will carry Juniper in our hearts till they quit beating. Love you, Mom
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