Halloween and Day 30- a dream for the future

I hid in the basement. Except for the few minutes I had to drive to deliver something to the teen. And I hate driving on Halloween. But driving while crying on Halloween is extra not fun. And oh the little dinosaurs, and princesses etc... I came home and cried some more. I wanted to dress my baby up as a baby alien, to match mama. There were darling little sparkly legging hanging near the register at the store yesterday. I was told not to buy them because I don't have a baby yet. "I already had one" I replied. And choked back tears.

If this is Halloween I think we should all us dead baby moms move to an island for the next few months because this minor holiday sent me round the bend, I can only imagine what the major ones will do.

Day 30- a dream for the future

A dream of the past, brought forward. Family reconciled. Gathered for a happy occasion. Cousins, brother,sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc... Gifts, food, photographs. Stories told, remembrances of those that aren't there. A fire, perhaps a tree. Or perhaps the days before and we are decorating or baking, preparing for a ritual that has found new meaning after the healing has had it's time.