PSA from the future

"A public service announcement followed me home the other day. I paid it never mind, go away"
-REM, Bad Day

Anywhoo, the future just spent two hours dealing with teen angst mega bomb. (But you know by calling it that I'm being ageist and childish.) Two hours of "you don't understand me" I wish I was with ______" "We will NEVER be able to communicate" etc...

And you can't shove the "give me a break, I pushed your dead brother out of my vagina" card in their faces. You really can't.

You may have small children, or want them desperately. We are mostly dead baby mamas here. And many of us cannot understand how anyone would think of a living child as anything other than a precious gift. And yes I love my children with all of my heart and want another living baby so bad it burns.

But, I am also here from the future to tell you ... those precious little angels don't give a rats ass most days if mommy has had a headache for 20 hours, or mommy had a dead baby and still cries about it all the time, or that mommy and daddy need to be alone so they can make another baby.

Not that it is their responsibility to be our emotional support. But those colicky little angels NEVER give you a break, even when you are trying to talk to your midwife about how might be the best way to have a non-dead baby next time, even if you give them a new toy and candy.

No matter how much you need to be sad, or angry or just stay the fuck in bed for the day, even if you have a temperature of 103, your feelings count for a little less than nothing. Sometimes, they even use your TTC against you. As in, I say "Arrgh I wish you guys would stop messing up the floor I just vacuumed and mopped! Hold over the table!!!" and I get "Geez! Are you sure you want to have more kids?"

WHAT THE FUCK?

No I didn't say WTF to my 14 year-old I said "Yes, and I want all my children to learn to be responsible and value the hard work of others."

So yes, I want another. And it will likely cry, and teethe, and bite my nipples. And I will likely grumble a lot and yell sometimes. Even if it's not all puppies and rainbows and lollipops. It's a new life and I get to try not to screw it up too bad and teach it things and watch it learn; and that is worth all the pee-soaked beds, head lice and teen drama in all the world ;-)

About 11 years ago, when I was her world.

Plus I got to teach her the words contentious and pragmatic today. Both words that I used to describe myself.