always choose the hardest thing first

Because you will end up there anyway. At least, that is the way my life works.

You want a home birth? Go directly to hospital.

You want a natural birth? Let's gut you like a trout.

Oh, you wanted a live baby? Well, here's your breech Vbac, too bad you never get to take him home, except as a handful of dust in a plastic bag in a plastic box.

Back in bed again for the weekend. Though I did manage to shower and play with the boy for a short while before feeling like total crap again.

I wanted to NOT have a D&C so badly (I already have cervical scarring from a biopsy 11 years ago), yet Friday I was dizzy from blood loss and had to submit.
Apparently my darling uterus was swelled up to 12-14 week size. Which is odd because the baby stopped growing at 6 weeks and I took the misoprostel and started bleeding at 8 weeks.

So, a week later I'm still gushing and feel like complete crap and might be starting to depend on Percoset a little too much.

And I checked with three different doctors, hoping one would say, "you'll be fine." But they mostly said to go to the emergency room.

 So I went, and they did offer me the choice of going home and taking more of the drug that seems to make me want to bleed to death, or getting my womb vacuumed out. At least they didn't have to use the metal scrape-y thing.

Good times.

They even offered to do it right there in the emergency room. But, emotionally stable gal that I am, started bawling and kindly asked to be knocked out in a proper OR. So, that'll likely take care of our insurance deductible for the year.

Which is good, I guess. Because (if I can ever get the man drunk enough to get near me again ;-) When we conceive again, all the doctor visits will be covered.

That last line, and all the included hope, was brought to you by the wonderful little surprise I got in the mail yesterday from Missy
Thank you so much friend. That tiny key has done me a world of good :-)