Today is the day we found no heartbeat. A year ago already. It was a Tuesday last year. I last felt him move on the Saturday before. He had the hiccups. That was it. Then the midwives came over on Tuesday and couldn't find anything, so we went to the hospital, where that dumbass doctor wouldn't shut up until I told him "you need to stop talking" and he ran from the room. And I got dressed and said "I need to get the kids to school" and left, which I guess they consider AMA (against medical advice) though no one told me to stay. We went home, the kids did not go to school (this was also the day our homeschooling died too, I guess.) I threw all the baby stuff on the floor and fell into bed. I would spend the next whole week there, trying to figure out how to get a dead, as of yet unamed, baby out of me.
Dads Who Don’t Deal
5 years ago
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12 comments:
I'm sorry - the one year is rough. I'm thinking of you and offering virtual wine and a shoulder. I hope the day treats you kindly.
Dear Sadkitty....
I'm new to the whole blog thing and have only started mine in the last few days... as I head towards the first anniversary of our little one passing away.
You and other bloggers have inspired me to tell my story
and I look forward to sharing the journey with you :)
Love always,
New Year Mum xo
We're heading towards the 1 year mark of our little guy too. It stings.
I think of you and little Juniper often.
Oh sweet mamma... I am thinking of you....
Days like these are bittersweet. It's a memory of your son, but not the kind of memory you want to have. All my love to you Em!
My thoughts are with you on this sad day. I am looking forward with dread to when I too hit this milestone.
All my love to you. The memories one year out are so sharp and vivid.
xo
i remember the day we heard no heartbeat as well and that one year mark was horrible. thinking of you today!
What can I say besides, what a terrible day to have to remember and I'm so freaking sorry that this anniversary is here. I'll be thinking of you a lot for the next week.
Oh god, I am so sorry. One year. 365 days ago yet could have been 5 minutes ago.
Big hugs and love as you live through this week.
xo
Thinking of you as you remember this day. The year anniversary for me was such a huge milestone - full of remembering and so emotional.
Love to you.
There isn't much to say other than: "I'm sorry this ever happened to you", and "this sucks beyond compare" and "You and Juniper are in my thoughts"
I will be holding you in my heart over this next week, know that I am here for you if you need to talk, or drink or just sit in silence. xoxo
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