Hey blog, long time no see

It has been brought to my attention that I worry people when I blog about devastation and then disappear for weeks on end. It's true, I do mostly come here to dump off my bad feelings and then forget I have this place until I am sad and frustrated again. (Sorry Daddio ;-) Yes, my dad reads my blog, I'm not particularly secretive.

So, today I am here in a good mood. Things are going alright. Not great, but okay.

We are trying again, but I don't think we hit it quite right this time. My chart is all over the place like it's never been and I have no idea what's going on in there right now.

I can't read blogs so much anymore, so I kind of don't expect mine to get read. I just can't bear all that weight right now.

A good thing is that I am going on a little staycation right up the road at the Edgefield tonight and seeing one of my favorite singer/songwriters Daisy May

Last time I saw her, I gave her a purse that I designed and sewed just for her. It felt a bit stalker-ish, but money was not enough to show my gratitude for her music. It has been so very helpful in the past 13 months, 6 days. This time, I knit her a scarf, but I don't know if I'll give it to her. She is a friend of my sister's friends, so it's not like a total stranger.

My sense of what might be appropriate is quite skewed these days. Like, yesterday I was invited to a friend's for dinner. And I used to do childcare for her (and she wants me to again) but I totally was mother hen-ing those kids even though she was right there. I couldn't stop myself. It's how I always am with them and she was usually at work. But I couldn't shift the dynamic. I even knew what I was doing and apologized and then kept on doing it. But, she said it was fine and even helpful. But dang!

That being said, I am getting back on the wagon and am going to start doing childcare again in April. Just 2 days a week for a three year-old girl, but it's a start. For those of you that don't know me for real. I have done childcare almost my whole life, in various forms. It's kind of my career. Because, let's face it, small theaters in Portland don't really pay well for costuming (which is the job I want when I grow up ;-)

Also, while I am at the Edgefield I am getting a facial at Ruby's spa. The soaking pool there is amazing. You should click on that link up there and ogle it. I want to steal that pool and keep it for myself.